Raaaaaaaawr!!!!!!! I'm a raptor.

Nah, not a raptor. Just a Sarah. Although, it'd be so much fun to be a raptor. Rawr.

I'm watching Back to the Future. It's a pretty dang good movie, save the language... and I'm sick. Gr.

Lots o' stuff has been happening... lemme shee...
Last Friday I got a straightener! Yay!
Last Saturday I got to visit the MacQ's! Yay! 'Cept now Lachlan's graduating... *tears*
Last Sunday... I went to church? That's about it...
Last Monday.... I don't remember what I did. Nor Tuesday... or pretty much the rest of the week...
On Friday I went swimming in Independence lake, then canoing with a bunch of Explorers people and got super tan... hrm. Then we went back to Kitty's house and watched Hoodwinked. That was fun. :)
Yesterday I saw Up. That was good. It was really cute.
They're making a new Disney Princess movie about the Princess and the frog. It's set in New Orleans, or something.
Today I went to Living Word.... and got bonked on the head with a lemonade top... >.< Stupid wind........

I don't know how to put my thoughts into words. I feel like a jumbled up mess. Everything is... I just don't know. Arg, this is frustrating.

Ah, fine. Well, in other news, I'm not very fond of Ohio right now.

Hugs and Kisses
~Sarah~

2 months and a day

Hm... I haven't posted much... so!
Let's see... I'm not going to tell you what 2 months and a day ago was, because I like it secret. I'm just going to torment you with what it is, and what only I (and probably only one other person) knows about. Heehee!
I'm so mean...

So... lately I've been kinda down... this shaky thing has been happening quite a bit. I've gotten lots of prayers, so hopefully it won't happen tomorrow.

My sister is a point of worry for me and my friend. Grump. I wish it weren't so. It makes us kinda... weird. Although, I suppose we were that since like... birth. hehehe.

Hm.................. What else has been happening? Not much. The weather still continues charming... *laugh*
Sorry, I will randomly quote plays, movies, books, lots o' stuffs.

My sister is watching Curious George. Different than the previous sister.

I have to finish a book. I wish Explorers would be now instead of after summer. Summer is so boring!!! AAAAAAUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH *goes insane...r*

I'm done now.

Hugs and Kisses
~Sarah~

I've been bad... and somewhat dumb

I suppose I should apologize. I'm letting lots of people down. I'm sorry if I let you down...

I don't plan. I do so much stuff, and never have any time for anything else. If you've seen my calendar, you know I'm swamped. Or have been for the past... three months.

I... don't really have anything to say today... other than I didn't go to school... and it ends TOMORROW! YESSSSS!

So yeah...
Hugs and Kisses
~Sarah~

Masks

I was thinkin'... We all wear masks, yeah? I mean, come on. You can't deny it. We have a different mask for different people. Or, at least, I do.
Happy - This is the one that hides the pain.
Laughing - This is the one that hides the sadness.
Pretty - This is the one that hides the true beauty.
Sadness - This is the one that hides the brokenness and depression.
Complaint - This is the one that hides the need for love.
Clingy - This is the one that hides the need for attention.
I use them all to get attention. I use them all when I'm around friends. I use them when I'm around certain people. Sometimes I wear more than one at a time. I use them to hide myself. I'm afraid. Afraid of what could happen. Afraid of what has happened. Afraid of things I needn't be afraid of. Afraid of my friends. Afraid of opinions. Afraid of strangers. Afraid of God. Afraid of pain. Afraid of fear. Fear is weakness. Weakness is one of the worst things for me. Not physical weakness, although there's some of that, but emotional, spiritual, and psychological weakness. I don't like feeling vulnerable. I don't like surrendering. I'm a stubborn person. If you see me wear a mask, ask me to take it off. If I say I'm not wearing one, make me tell the truth. If I say I am, believe me.
If I refuse, make me. If I'm happy, ask what hurts. If I'm laughing, ask what's wrong. If I wear something fancy, or have a lot of make-up, remind me I'm beautiful. If I'm sad, give me a hug. If I complain, tell me to shush and remind me that people care. If I'm clingy, push me off and remind me people will see me. Please. If I'm hurt, I'll forget it in a week. I don't hold grudges. At least, not many. ^-^

Hugs and Kisses, please.
~Sarah~

Sorry.

Lately I've been feeling apathetic and depressed. If I act like I don't care, it's not because I don't like you, or I just don't care. I'm just kinda... down right now. Sorry.

Why Don't You Hate Me?

I'm letting everybody down. Everybody I love. I'm failing miserably at almost everything I try. I do too much. I'm too stressed. I can't let it out to the people I need to. I can talk to people about it. I just cover it up, because I don't want anyone to know my troubles. I need to come out in the open. Stop wearing my happy mask. I'm broken. I'm torn. I just want to give up. I don't want to do this anymore. I want to go into a deep sleep. No dreams. No nightmares. Just darkness. I don't want darkness though. I've been down that road, and it tore me to shreds. I want to be in nothingness. I want to be nothingness. Why don't you hate me? Why don't you just leave me alone? Why don't you just forget about me and go on with your life? Will your life change if I leave? Will your life change if I die? Will anybody's life be any different without me??? Why do you care? Why should I keep going? All I live for is my own selfish reasons. All I keep going for is so I won't let anybody else down. So nobody will think I'm a failure. I am a failure. All I do is whine and cry. What worth do I have? Why do you love me?