75, holy cow!

Well, my other blog survived about 5 posts... while this one has been pretty loaded. :)

*doo doo doo* Monsters Vs. Aliens!
Let's see... It's about a girl who grows ginormous, and is then considered a monster. There's a bunch of other monsters in this government controlled thingy-mer-bobby. Then there's an alien invasion because the aliens wants the stuff in the girl. The monsters have to fight the aliens, thus the title. It's cute. Kinda weird... I liked it, but it wasn't my favorite.

Today I had Sound of Music auditions... now I'm really really nervous!

I'm done...
Hugs and Kisses,
~Sarah~

*glares at Compaq people*

I'm mad at the computer people. They steal my friends computers. And don't give them back. Grumbly.
I saw Monsters Vs. Aliens today. It was good, although I thought it was kinda short...
I have to eat... so.

Hugs and Kisses!
~Sarah~

I don't want to clean my room......

Oh, whoops... it published without permission! Grump!

The strangest thing happened yesterday... apparently I am now *drumroll* the 'hot girlfriend'...
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I really really really really really really really don't like that adjective. Although, I suppose it's a compliment of sorts... I consider it more an insult...

If you want to know... ask me..... because it's kinda weird to write... ... ... GAH! Just thinking about it makes me all flushed!!!

Uhm... in other news. I'm avoiding cleaning, but probably shouldn't for much longer, if I want to go to YG tomorrow... Which I kind of do...

My whole body is shaking... I need more sleep. I didn't get to bed until about 12:30 last night, and woke up at 8:30ish... Should be enough, but no. My body says, "RAWR! I'ma terrorize you." As a result, it's rather difficult to type. >.<

My friend's family was hosting some exchange students, and then Monday they all left. Therefore, my friend is kind of depressed. It really hurts me to see my friends in pain. Like, literally hurts. I was thinking of it, and I get the pressing feeling on my chest. That wasn't cool. I didn't know what to say, though. I mean, I know what it feels like since the MacQ's left and all, but... I mean, I just don't know what to say. He's really hurting, I can see, but I don't know how to stop that, and that makes me hurt. Urgh. I wish there was a world with no pain. Oh wait... till we die... *sigh*

Gah! My fingers are shaking like crazy!

I'm all not sick anymore. Well, that's not entirely true... there are still random moments when I feel like puking, but then I sit outside and they go away. That's annoying. But no more sore throat or anything. Wewt.

I'm still waiting for my friend to get his computer back... GRAR! Stupid Compaq guys. *mutter mutter*

Oh, one more thing. I watched the Man in the Iron Mask today. Good concept, HORRIBLE acting. I mean, really terrible. *shudder* And a couple awkward parts.... but that's it.

Hugs and Kisses,
~Sarah~

Raaaaaaaawr!!!!!!! I'm a raptor.

Nah, not a raptor. Just a Sarah. Although, it'd be so much fun to be a raptor. Rawr.

I'm watching Back to the Future. It's a pretty dang good movie, save the language... and I'm sick. Gr.

Lots o' stuff has been happening... lemme shee...
Last Friday I got a straightener! Yay!
Last Saturday I got to visit the MacQ's! Yay! 'Cept now Lachlan's graduating... *tears*
Last Sunday... I went to church? That's about it...
Last Monday.... I don't remember what I did. Nor Tuesday... or pretty much the rest of the week...
On Friday I went swimming in Independence lake, then canoing with a bunch of Explorers people and got super tan... hrm. Then we went back to Kitty's house and watched Hoodwinked. That was fun. :)
Yesterday I saw Up. That was good. It was really cute.
They're making a new Disney Princess movie about the Princess and the frog. It's set in New Orleans, or something.
Today I went to Living Word.... and got bonked on the head with a lemonade top... >.< Stupid wind........

I don't know how to put my thoughts into words. I feel like a jumbled up mess. Everything is... I just don't know. Arg, this is frustrating.

Ah, fine. Well, in other news, I'm not very fond of Ohio right now.

Hugs and Kisses
~Sarah~

2 months and a day

Hm... I haven't posted much... so!
Let's see... I'm not going to tell you what 2 months and a day ago was, because I like it secret. I'm just going to torment you with what it is, and what only I (and probably only one other person) knows about. Heehee!
I'm so mean...

So... lately I've been kinda down... this shaky thing has been happening quite a bit. I've gotten lots of prayers, so hopefully it won't happen tomorrow.

My sister is a point of worry for me and my friend. Grump. I wish it weren't so. It makes us kinda... weird. Although, I suppose we were that since like... birth. hehehe.

Hm.................. What else has been happening? Not much. The weather still continues charming... *laugh*
Sorry, I will randomly quote plays, movies, books, lots o' stuffs.

My sister is watching Curious George. Different than the previous sister.

I have to finish a book. I wish Explorers would be now instead of after summer. Summer is so boring!!! AAAAAAUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH *goes insane...r*

I'm done now.

Hugs and Kisses
~Sarah~

I've been bad... and somewhat dumb

I suppose I should apologize. I'm letting lots of people down. I'm sorry if I let you down...

I don't plan. I do so much stuff, and never have any time for anything else. If you've seen my calendar, you know I'm swamped. Or have been for the past... three months.

I... don't really have anything to say today... other than I didn't go to school... and it ends TOMORROW! YESSSSS!

So yeah...
Hugs and Kisses
~Sarah~

Masks

I was thinkin'... We all wear masks, yeah? I mean, come on. You can't deny it. We have a different mask for different people. Or, at least, I do.
Happy - This is the one that hides the pain.
Laughing - This is the one that hides the sadness.
Pretty - This is the one that hides the true beauty.
Sadness - This is the one that hides the brokenness and depression.
Complaint - This is the one that hides the need for love.
Clingy - This is the one that hides the need for attention.
I use them all to get attention. I use them all when I'm around friends. I use them when I'm around certain people. Sometimes I wear more than one at a time. I use them to hide myself. I'm afraid. Afraid of what could happen. Afraid of what has happened. Afraid of things I needn't be afraid of. Afraid of my friends. Afraid of opinions. Afraid of strangers. Afraid of God. Afraid of pain. Afraid of fear. Fear is weakness. Weakness is one of the worst things for me. Not physical weakness, although there's some of that, but emotional, spiritual, and psychological weakness. I don't like feeling vulnerable. I don't like surrendering. I'm a stubborn person. If you see me wear a mask, ask me to take it off. If I say I'm not wearing one, make me tell the truth. If I say I am, believe me.
If I refuse, make me. If I'm happy, ask what hurts. If I'm laughing, ask what's wrong. If I wear something fancy, or have a lot of make-up, remind me I'm beautiful. If I'm sad, give me a hug. If I complain, tell me to shush and remind me that people care. If I'm clingy, push me off and remind me people will see me. Please. If I'm hurt, I'll forget it in a week. I don't hold grudges. At least, not many. ^-^

Hugs and Kisses, please.
~Sarah~

Sorry.

Lately I've been feeling apathetic and depressed. If I act like I don't care, it's not because I don't like you, or I just don't care. I'm just kinda... down right now. Sorry.

Why Don't You Hate Me?

I'm letting everybody down. Everybody I love. I'm failing miserably at almost everything I try. I do too much. I'm too stressed. I can't let it out to the people I need to. I can talk to people about it. I just cover it up, because I don't want anyone to know my troubles. I need to come out in the open. Stop wearing my happy mask. I'm broken. I'm torn. I just want to give up. I don't want to do this anymore. I want to go into a deep sleep. No dreams. No nightmares. Just darkness. I don't want darkness though. I've been down that road, and it tore me to shreds. I want to be in nothingness. I want to be nothingness. Why don't you hate me? Why don't you just leave me alone? Why don't you just forget about me and go on with your life? Will your life change if I leave? Will your life change if I die? Will anybody's life be any different without me??? Why do you care? Why should I keep going? All I live for is my own selfish reasons. All I keep going for is so I won't let anybody else down. So nobody will think I'm a failure. I am a failure. All I do is whine and cry. What worth do I have? Why do you love me?

Uhms.

I'm not gonna post a lot.

We played for graduation today. Very uneventful. I knew like, 5 people graduating. Very boring.
Recital was tomorrow. That was very eventful! There were a bajillion of us crammed in a tiny room. Lee and Jim kept trying and failing to tickle me. It don't, won't, and will never work. Then, during Bolero, the performance, Allie popped a ligament in her ankle. She wasn't able to do the rest of the show. That was sad. My variation went totally awesome. I made people cry. *smile*
I did the Dying Swan, by the way, so crying is good.

Uhm............ das ist alles.
Hugs and Kisses
~Sarah~

P.S. I can't type today.
P.P.S. Wait... wait... was tomorrow?!? WOW SARAH! Was yesterday!
P.P.P.S. I feel like Gandalf. And here's a quote. “The heart is constituted such that the only way to dispossess it of an old affection is by the expulsive power of a new one..." ~ Thomas Chalmers